Just... what?

This bonanza over birth control makes as much sense to me as Chris Brown still being on the airwaves.

How is everyone not looking at each other, aghast, wondering, “Uhhh... hello? What’d I miss?” Birth control is responsible. Chris Brown is abusive. Done and done, right?

Well, interesting.... The Right. Yes. That is where a lot of this seems to be stemming from. The masochistic, inane, completely flabbergasting rhetoric being thrown around by some of the presidential candidates and their party cronies is just... I don’t even know a word that would properly encompass my feelings.

Pitiable? Infuriating? Stupid?

Do they not realize that without the use of and access to birth control they’d have a pied piper following of illegitimate children all their mistresses would produce? Show me a politician who hasn’t had an affair. It’ll probably be easier to find a frat boy who’s never tasted beer.

Oh, I’m sorry, are those broad sweeping generalizations not even remotely based in fact? Guess where I learned to do that?

The idea that the government, the GOVERNMENT, is making inflammatory decisions about women’s health care based on moral rationalization rather than, oh I don’t know, legitimate data outlining how this issue is even remotely relevant, makes me livid.

Hi, you’re not doctors.

The short sightedness and... I don’t know, again, stupidity? that’s not even a strong enough word... of these people truly makes me want to... vomit feces, I guess. I can't think of a bodily function repugnant enough.

If you’re really so concerned about lost souls or innocent children or whatever the hell you’re calling zygotes these days, DO SOMETHING WHEN THEY’RE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE UTERUS.

You don’t want to imbue public education with any funding, you don’t want to expand social services, you’re cutting down on the already scant mental health resources available, you’re ignoring the reams of scientific literature linking unwanted children and risk of abuse, and you’re making statements outside the realm of your expertise.

Unintended pregnancies know no socioeconomic limitations, but the resources available for them once they slide down the chute are obscenely imbalanced amongst societal stratification.

I see the evidence of this every hour of my 80 hour work week.

How is birth control viewed as anything but preventive medicine? Pregnancy is not a benign condition. Women shouldn’t have to be penalized (HA!) for choosing not to put themselves at high risk for medical morbidity.

It’s on par with refusing to pay for someone’s statins because they CHOSE to eat all that McDonald’s and trans fat and blahbity blah - insert any American cuisine - and have a massive heart attack. In covering their anti-cholesterol, anti-inflammatory agents aren’t I just giving them carte blanche to go eat willy nilly whatever the hell they want? Veritable permission to go be junk food whores? (I'm looking at you, Rush Limbaugh.)

Why does everything change when you substitute in “birth control” for statin and “pregnancy” for myocardial infarction?

If you’re thinking of an argument that involves Jesus, then it should be off the table. Pretty sure there’s separation of church and state. Pretty sure that the justification you’re providing, that your God says it’s bad (paraphrasing), is completely unrelated to the governance of our country.

I could bring out Harry Potter and tell you what Dumbledore tells us to do. Would that be useful? Then at least I’d be speaking on your terms. Oh, going through Platform 9 3/4 is impossible is it? So is walking on water.

Believe what you believe. I don’t care. Just don’t make it law to believe what you believe.

There is absolutely nothing in these campaigns or in these politician’s track records that smacks of God’s love, forgiveness, justice, equality, unconditionality, concern for the least of us, on and on and on... so quit using it as an excuse. Walk the fucking walk, boys.