Tuesday, October 30, 2012

3am in the Peds ED:

Phone rings...

Me: Hello?

ED Resident working for the Dark Adult Side: I knew it.

Me: Knew what?

ED Resident: That it was you working over there tonight.

Me: Oh?

ED Resident: Two techs just crossed to our side, one saying "Holy shit, our doctor is knitting at night!" That pretty much narrowed it down.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

This is what I heard Romney say:

1) It's silly to invest in solar and wind power.  Let's suck this planet dry and then leave it to the future citizens to figure out what the hell to do when there are no more non-renewable resources to renew.

2) I live under the illusion that individuals can "shop around" for insurance companies.

3) The only thing I care about is making jobs in this country.

4) I'm going to reduce the federal deficit by cutting federal jobs in this country.

5) I am not even remotely embarrassed that I believe health care is a privilege. In fact, though I espouse my Mormon heritage and it's Biblical truths, I have no problem living with the immorality that every citizen in this country is not guaranteed health care.

6) I have short term memory loss. I want to stop shipping jobs overseas, but yet I was the big man on campus at one of the nation's largest corporate outsourcers.

7) I would rather have people admitted to the hospital with acute, expensive, preventable illnesses and let them take on the hundreds of thousands of dollars this accrues just so I am not caught in public saying that I would support adding an average of $2,500 per year to families. I would rather them be hundreds of thousands dollars in debt.

8) I believe Obama is responsible for the two smoke and mirror wars that cost trillions of dollars in the eight years preceding his entry into the Oval Office.

9) I care about education. But Big Bird can suck it.