3am in the Peds ED:

Phone rings...

Me: Hello?

ED Resident working for the Dark Adult Side: I knew it.

Me: Knew what?

ED Resident: That it was you working over there tonight.

Me: Oh?

ED Resident: Two techs just crossed to our side, one saying "Holy shit, our doctor is knitting at night!" That pretty much narrowed it down.

Emma

She needs no introduction.

Except to those of you who've never met her.

Emma is the world's sweetest dog and I say that as a dyed in the wool cat person. A mama cat, if you will.

She is some sort of genetic salad originally from Oregon, facts that no doubt set the stage for her beyond mellow demeanor.

She is owned by one of my husband's BFFs. Said BFF is a veterinarian and has a soft spot for animals. (Why yes, I have encouraged him to feature this prominently on his dating profile!) During their college years The Vet (ernarian. We have way too much fun playing off vet and making 'nam jokes. I think they're only funny to us.) was traveling through Oregon with his family. They were minding their own business putting birds on things and paging through Powells' books wearing vintage get-ups, you know, basic Oregon stuff, when a dog ran across the highway in front of them.

The Vet, being the aspiring vet he was at the time, had his family stop the car, pick up the emaciated young dog and take it to an animal shelter. The dog had no collar and I guess they were in the middle of nowhere so, given her condition, assuming no owner seemed a safe bet.

The shelter put animals down if no one claimed or adopted them in 3 days. The Vet flew back home to Long Island and called daily to check on the dog.

On the third day when no one had claimed it and she was mere hours away from the big sleep, he paid to have the dog shipped across the country so he could be its puppy daddy.

My husband accompanied The Vet to JFK where they met *triumphant fanfare*: Emma.

From that moment on it's as though she knew what The Vet did for her, what he saved her from, and she has been the sweetest, most obedient, loyal dog since. (Healthy now, too. She's been with the Vet a solid 7 years at least.)

The Vet decided to move to Denver a few months ago and moved in down the street (thereby bringing me one step closer to a life long dream of having a posse akin to Friends or How I Met Your Mother. He's kind of in a Barney/Ted phase right now. Ted circa season three.) so Emma is a regular presence.

We went camping a few weeks ago and Emma of course dutifully came along. We were in the mountains whose weather is a solid twenty degrees lower than Denver's usually, so at night The Vet put Emma's sweater on and my heart melted.

She's not a teeny dog, she's a solid medium size, probably on the larger end of medium, so her garb was just so cute and utilitarian rather than annoying and pretentious. The sweater was a thick, cabled, heathered yarn number that exuded outdoorsy-ness.

Clearly she needed something more feminine.

Thus, I made Emma a sweater. Something a bit more fetching, and a little lighter for the spring and summer nights.

Why wouldn't I wrap a gift for a dog?

Hottie at the Hydrant!

Robo-Emma. 

Love it.

I used the Hoodie Dog Coat pattern, but left the hoodie part off given the bad rap they get these days. The yarn is a wool blend that I let my husband pick out. The color way is "Whimsy."

That is so fetch.

I made this.

Because I have an unhealthy obsession with Mean Girls and/or crafting.

It's an iPhone case.

Rim Jobs with Balls or This may or may not have been fueled by margaritas

I love salt. My husband thinks this is because I'm from the Midwest. Or, what he deems, the land of butter, salt, and frying anything potentially edible. There may be some merit to that. I still consider Bob Evans haute cuisine.

At any rate, one of my favorite things about margaritas, besides the tequila, is the salt rim. Genius, right? Why aren't more drinks rimmed in things? There's a place in Denver that will rim sweet margaritas (e.g. the strawberry pomegranate acai blended concoctions) with sugar. Also good, but nothing compares to salty.

It made me realize though... you could technically rim a glass in anything.

With a baby shower coming up this weekend and free time during which I don't know what to do with myself, I decided to turn to the internet to see if there were any party suggestions featuring rimmed glasses.

I was not disappointed.

Using a mish mash of instructions from various sites, I decided to give it a whirl.

I chose Cut Crystal Chinet cups (due to their minimal lip around the top and therefore promise of easy rolling) as my guinea pigs.

I shook out a bunch of those small rainbow colored balls usually reserved for sugar cookies or ice cream onto a plate. I did this on my porch. I didn't feel like having them roll all over the floor and then having to deal with the mayhem of kitty sugar highs.

Next, I secured a small reservoir of honey. Using a foam brush I swept a layer of honey around the Cut Crystal Chinet cup edges. Subsequently, I rolled the cup in the plate of rainbow balls.

Said honey, rainbow nonpareils, and foam brush. I may try the pink sugar sprinkles next.

It worked:

Wax papered tray to minimize clean-up. Because I don't have THAT much free time.

The honey wasn't drying out the way I'd hoped in the sun. Turns out sun makes honey run/melt. So I put the tray in the fridge for about half an hour and BOOYAH.

Completely unnecessary, but bitchin'. Would also work well for circus themed child's birthday...

Superfluous, yet awesome, baby shower cups. Instant flair!

I'm also working on pinwheel/carnation centerpieces. Because there's something wrong with me. I'm not even hosting this thing!

Becky's Baby's Booties

Can you tell I'm on an elective month?

One of my fellow residents decided she likes kids so much she's going to go ahead and have one of her own! Her shower is coming up and for the first time I will have a baby project completed prior to their arrival!

For these (pattern: Be Mine from Leisure Arts' "Booties By the Dozen")(which yes, sounds pornographic, but in fact is clean as a whistle and features baby sandals as well as baby bunny slippers!) I used Aunt Lydia's Bamboo Thread size 10 and a 1.65mm hook. The bamboo was markedly softer than the regular cotton which I felt was more in keeping with baby stuff and simultaneously a nod to my wanna-be hippie ways.

I love using crochet thread and steel hooks. There's something so satisfying about creating the intricate stitches and wrecking my eyeballs. Part of the fun I think is that the projects turn out so difficult looking when really they're just crocheting on a small scale. Granted, I don't think I could knit on this small of a scale... that would drive me insane. Crochet is just so much more forgiving and you can really "sculpt" with it.

I've got one bootie down and one more to go!

My next project will be finding a cute, sustainable way to wrap these bad boys.

Feeling Impotent

I was so fired up the other day about reproductive health rights, but felt like there was nothing I could really do. I don't have a platform to be influential, most of what I say is emotionally fueled, and if I were ever to debate someone it would dissolve into a toddler tantrum with stamping feet faster than you can say, "transvaginal."

So... I did this instead:

One step above completely passive aggression. It's a bookmark. So all the folks sitting around me at coffee shops will know they'd best hold on to their vas deferens or start urging their candidates to make a modicum of sense.

Next I'm going to start knitting rebel messages into scarves.

Auntie Pants

My brother's daughter is beyond adorable. She'll be four years old in June and she's brilliant.

She was able to dress and undress herself by the age of 2.5 which I think is a testament to her brainy fashionista potential rather than portending a future of stripperdom. We sang an "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream," duet from Sleeping Beauty as soon as she was 3. Since she was born she loves anything that glitters. CLEARLY there will never be any doubt of our genetic linkage.

My brother's wife has a sister. I have mentally been in competition with her to become favorite aunt since my nephew was born seven years ago. But now? The stakes are higher. There's an adorable, malleable sweetheart in our midst and I am determined to be my niece's favorite aunt.

My dream is to one day take her on a weekend excursion to New York City where we can gorge ourselves on Buttercup Cupcakes and then have a shopping spree at the American Girl Doll store. In this dream I am also independently wealthy. Should this dream take place after she's 21 years of age we may also throw in a Sex and the City Bus Tour with a solid afternoon spent at Sweet Revenge - a place that does pairings of cupcakes and wine.

CUPCAKES AND WINE, PEOPLE.

It's true that all the geniuses flock to New York.

One of my biggest deficits in this race for favorite aunt is my proximity. Or rather, lack thereof. Within my niece's realm of conscious recollection I have visited her twice. Her mother's sister lives in the same city. Yikes.

Upping the ante MORE is the fact that her mother's brother is getting married therefore bringing in another contender for favorite aunt.

This is unacceptable. As such, welcome to my A-game. For Easter I (yes, hand)made and sent her this:



It's the best I can do when I know there are other women in her life close enough to give her an Easter basket replete with candy and bunnies. I'm hoping instead of a fleeting sugar high I can provide a spark for a lifetime of nostalgic wonderment similar, but even more pervasive than the insane addiction cultivated when I introduced her to the Fancy Nancy series and provided her her first tutu.

I mailed it yesterday. We'll wait with bated breath to see her response.

In the meantime I will begin plotting for her birthday. It is on, other aunts. It is on.