Wednesday, March 31, 2010

One Little Activist

One of the nice things about visiting the home I grew up in is the sense of security and comfort that's just innate. I walk in the door and feel comfortable running around in an oversized t-shirt and watching 14 hours of television. No one will judge me.

Another perk is the little somethings I find left on my dresser.

My parents are in a continual state of trying to clean the house and weed out all the absurd amounts of rickrack we've accumulated over the years. Often I find old photos of friends, old pairs of heinously large glasses I wore or pictures I drew of my former imaginary dinosaur waiting for me next to all the junk mail I receive. (Former imaginary dinosaur as in the dinosaur I no longer imagine, not that he used to be pretend and now is real.)

What awaited me today was a small suggestion of how I turned out the way I did (i.e. a sarcastic liberal minded pseudo bleeding heart raised in the bleached belt of Bible beating conservatism).

It was a letter I wrote to a local columnist nearly 15 years ago. I actually typed it up, but it's on the kind of printer paper that has to have the dotted edges ripped off (reproduced verbatim):

October 23, 1995

Dear Ms. Columnist,

I have a question about one of your articles in the issue of tonight's paper, in your article "Scalping Chief Wahoo Won't Solve Native Americans Woes" . In my opinion you should not be mocking the native americans, they have feelings too. For instance, not every single native american in this country is protesting the " Cheif Wahoo". I think it is very wrong of you to sarcastically say:oops, you were protesting to loud to hear what I said, or something of that nature.If the Cleveland Indians were in HONOR of that indian chief why did they make his face red? You don't see a native american walking down the street with a red face, do you? And even if they do have a tint of reddish color in thier face it's not cherry red.I happen to know a native american and thier face isn't bright red!I'm sorry to take up your time. Thank you for hearing me out.

Pants Tailored McSlacks

Oh, silly eleven year old me.

Anyone can see now that Chief Wahoo is red-faced because he's embarrassed to be associated with such a pitiable ball club. Sorry, Cleveland Indians. You're terrible. Thank you for hearing me out.

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